bottom's up!

This was taken a few weeks ago at a family gathering. Andy, my cousin-in-law is a bad BAD influence and coerced me into drinking THREE shots of sake. BAD ANDY! This was me on my way to the first shot. Can you see the coercion in my eyes? No? Keep looking!

I forgot to add to my list of ways to nurse yourself through sickness.... It doesn't hurt to have a little alcohol. Not a whole lot. But sometimes I do like to drink a warm shot of sake. It keeps you warm and for at least that moment, clears up some places that need to be cleared up. Again, it's just my thing. I'm thinking of having some warm sake tonight. Or tomorrow night since it's International Sushi Day tomorrow. (Thanks for the heads up, Officer Kirk!)

Warm-up
Some random stuff that I can't quite remember... running, push-ups, stretching, something like that.

CrossFit One World WOD
Complete three rounds for time of:
500m row
21 kettlebell swings 35#
21 box jumps 18"

Joanne's Final Time - 25:31

Notes (to myself) about this workout: It's not a matter of what you CAN or CAN'T do. I think the CrossFit (and life in general) journey is largely about what you are WILLING to do - especially when your mind and your body have already determined that you're done for the day.

This is how I felt today. I'm less than 100% because I'm still recovering from being sick. I have some really deep chest congestion which makes breathing hard. I have the kind of cough that requires my entire body to work overtime just to get rid of a tiny ball of spit. It's frustrating. For me, the last step in getting the EVIL out of you is to resume your normal activities - even if you have to fight for it.

Last year when my mom and I lived overseas, she was sick for two weeks when we got back to Manila from Guam. For two whole weeks I watched her lay in bed battling whatever bug she had. I kept telling her that she needed to just move out and about. My feeling is that when you're sick, you should stay in bed for no more than three days. After that, you need to get out of bed and just move. Anything after three days is to me, mental. You need to just walk around or something because if not, your body gets accustomed to feeling like shit. I don't like this feeling. My mom wouldn't listen to me, so when I finally threatened to bring her to Makati Med for treatment, she caved in and started milling around and finally got better. It's not in my personality to sit in bed for more than three days. If I'm deathly sick, you need to chain me to bed to keep me there.

I knew I wasn't going to do well tonight, but I decided that I would just push through because it helps to shake the EVIL out. The last time I did this WOD I finished in under 17 minutes, using a lower box. Today I did the 35# kettlebell (because I love kettlebells - even when I'm sick) and the 18" box. I was just hoping to finish. That's it. I didn't care about time.

This WOD sucked ass. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, it's that I had a hard time breathing. I kept gasping for air, like I was hyperventilating. In round two I stepped outside to just cry. Seriously. I cried. I came back in and finished the box jumps. The last two reps of box jumps were step ups because I just couldn't jump for shit. 

By then I was an entire round behind everyone else, so while everyone was done and putting their stuff away, I was still agonizing through the WOD. Gasping for air. Crying. Really. I was CRYING! When I finally finished, I thought I was going to just DIE! Really. I wanted to fall over, but I just continued to gasp for air.

I've seen this in other CrossFitters before. You're doing the WOD and something just hits you. You don't want to go on. You're spent. You can't go on. But your stubborn ass refuses to stop until you finish what you started. It reminds me of when Settie first did the Bear Complex. I wasn't there, but Eric said she literally took ten minutes between set reps because she didn't want to give up. I saw Alexis go through this the other week during the WOD with the rope climbs. I saw Chris L. battle it out with the WOD that required 100 double unders. You're agonizing and you're beyond the last person to finish. But you just march on. It sucks. I want to say the finish is worth it. And for the most part, it is. But the process sucks.

I was frustrated because I was just so in my head. I cried half the time for fuck's sake! I had to step outside to cry! It's rare when I have to do that. But when I do, I never forget it. I felt this way the first time I met "Mr. Josh." I also felt that way when I crossed the finish line at the Maui Marathon. I crossed the finish in tears. This wasn't because I was happy. I was just frustrated and wanted to die. It was hot. There was no glory in finishing. And the orange-sized blister that was forming on BOTH of my feet just popped and my socks were oozing with warm blister juice. I would have crawled to the finish line if I had the strength to go on hands and knees.

I'm not sure what it is that makes us crazy CrossFitters agonize to the finish. For me, when I'm in that much pain, it just makes no sense to not finish. You're more than half way there, just go. Easy as that. Even if you have to crawl to the finish. You just do it. Granted, it helps when everyone around you is there to push you, guide you, carry you to the finish even when you don't want it anymore.

Man. Tonight was tough. I don't ever want to feel this way again. Damn EVIL. Be gone NOW!