Sunday, November 29, 2009

haters be gone!

I may have mentioned this article before, but a few months ago, Glamour magazine caused a stir when they featured this story and photo of a normal woman sitting naked, proudly boasting a little belly flop. In their November 2009 issue, Glamour magazine again, wowed readers with this story, featuring some of the industry’s top plus-sized models sporting nothing but birthday suits. All I have to say is BRAVO GLAMOUR! Let’s just hope that this will be an ongoing thing and not just a passing fad. The world needs better body positive images and this is a great start! Wa-hoo!

Here are more articles from Glamour:
On the C.L.: Are You Ready to Start a Body Image Revolution? Oh, Wait--You Already Did!
Supermodels Who Aren’t Superthin: Meet the Women Who Proudly Bared it All
Body-Confidence Secrets From Plus-Size Model Crystal Renn
16 Ways I Learned to Love My Body
Exclusive Body-Image Survey: 16,000 Women Tell Their Body Confidence Secrets

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that one of my many missions is to promote a positive body image for oneself. Admittedly, some days are better than others. Overall, I’m sure I have a good sense of self. Having a strong sense of self allows me to be flirty as I see fit. It gives me the cajones to buy a pair of weightlifting shoes that read “sexy j-ro” across the back heels. It grants me the permission face the public without an ounce of makeup. It also allows me to have a sense of humor and not take myself so seriously all the time. It’s been a long road, but I’m glad I’m here. Some of my strategies include:

(1) I do not subscribe to or buy women’s “beauty” magazines because such magazines are meant to make you feel ugly. My $4-$6 can be better spent on cupcakes, thank you. (Admittedly, I may be having a change of heart for Glamour.)

(2) I do not watch a lot of television. Granted, I like a good TV show. Some of my favorites include: Monk, Psych, and Ugly Betty.

(3) I stay away from people who make me feel ugly. This is a tricky one because culturally, I think Filipinos can be vain. (Um, not all Filipinos, just some Filipinos. I understand the problematics of this statement. But I’ll let it stand. You can pick appropriate fights with me later.) I’ve had to let go of some major friendships in my life because of this. I’ve also had to be rude to family members just to make my point. It hurts sometimes. But at my age, I’m learning that I’m just too old to waste my time with people who make me feel ugly. Period.

Despite my grand efforts, every now and again, some hater manages to make her place in my life. (Yes. It’s a her. For some reason, women [um, not all women, just some women] are vicious to each other. Men are cruel and careless, but women are purposely vicious.) Recently, a gym acquaintance made rude comments about my body. In particular, she decided it would be cute to publicly announce that my breasts are “a bit saggy.” Normally, I’d throw my f--king shoe at her and then gouge her eyeballs with a dull butter knife while pouring sea salt all over them.

But I didn’t. I let her comment be.

This past week this same gym acquaintance again, took a stab at my “beauty” (or more accurately, my “sexy”). Again, I wanted to throw my f--king shoe at her. In truth, I’m not sure why this person makes comments about my body. I don’t know her well (and there’s a reason for that). We’re not friends. We’re just two people who, on occasion, run into each other at the gym. So why the mother f--king insults?!

I guess my larger point is that maintaining a positive body image is hard work – largely because there will always be people there who will try to dismantle your project. It is not in my nature to allow this person to insult me with such inappropriate comments. However, I believe in karma. I hold on to hope that she’ll get what’s coming to her, that negative people will pay their dues. I also understand that when people operate from negative space, what they’re really doing is projecting their insecurities on to you. In short, her insults are more about what she’s lacking and what she wishes she had. With that, I know that my silence speaks volumes.


Anonymous said...

wow, J-ro...I hope everything works out between this person and you...... keep your head up high. You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

I love your blog. I especially loved today's blog and the image of beauty segment because it made me realize that I will not turn the clock back and be 17 again. I am learning to work with the life lessons etched on my body.

Thanks for speaking out about 'real' beauty and keeping me grounded!

-Evil Twin Mary

Joanne said...

Thanks Mary!

I'm not too worried about this gym girl. I just need to be better at drawing my boundaries. Granted, I'm all for joking around. It's just that some people don't understand what topics are off limits, you know?

Anyway, I'm glad you liked this post. I've been following this story for some time and am curious to know where it goes.

You should check out a documentary called "America the Beautiful." I think it's available next month on Netflix and such. You can also buy the DVD. Here's the website: Enjoy!

maria -nice twin said...

Hey girl!
Finally got a chance to catch up on your blogs. Yes, people can be mean spirited -down right hateful- just to make themselves feel better! It just shows how ugly and insecure they are.

You are a wonderful person. You always have a bright, warm, lovely smile. Don't let anyone get you down!

Joanne said...

Thanks Maria!

Agreed. I don't like people who are ugly and insecure. I wish they'd stop breathing the same air as me and go back to the globo gym they came from. ha ha ha!

Hmph. I think I'm going to have to buy this person a shirt that says "mean people like you suck!" I would then hand her a lollipop because it's cheaper than a cupcake but still says that I'm a nice girl. (insert cheesy grin)

Many thanks for the love. It means a lot!

Gladys said...

wtf with that woman? hope you stay away from that kind of energy. some people just do not have filters.

Joanne said...

I'm with you Gladys!

Jerry L. said...

I got yo back... Don't know who it is, but I'll "accidentally" let a KB slip towards her head for you.

Joanne said...

Thanks Jerry! I'll give you three guesses, but my spider senses tell me that you'll only need one. ha ha!