inspiration needed

This photo was taken in 2006 when some friends and I organized a one day symposium called Beauty and Power in Filipino/American Communities. It was so much fun and a total honor to present with these lovely ladies! Seriously. Where else can I present academic research and wear a faux tiara while doing so?
This was taken at that same conference, only this was during the Q&A session. Yeah. This is my scholarly Nerd-lander pose.

I've been feeling a lot of anxiety about this last year of school. I'm in the thick of writing right now. It's not as fast as I'd like it to go, but it's going. I'm holding on to what my mentor continually tells me, "Art takes time." I like to believe that this dissertation is leading me to what I hope is my very own masterpiece.

The academic world is full of unknowns. Those unknowns usually come crashing down when you're at the stage that I'm at, which is the final writing stage. Up until now, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be a university professor of some sort. I like to think I did everything right. I published my fair share of work. I've presented at conferences. I've mentored students. Hell, I've even been on TV for my research. I still believe in my heart of hearts that this is going to happen. However, these aspirations are constantly being put to the test. Lately, I've been constantly asking myself how bad I want it. It's resulted in a lot of tears, arguments, and anxieties. Though I know what my bottom line is and I know what I'm willing to sacrifice, it doesn't make the episodes of self-doubt easier.

Right now, a girl could use a little inspiration.

Don't laugh, but I picked up the latest issue of O Magazine. I love the "What I Know For Sure" column at the end of the magazine. In the September 2009 issue, Oprah writes:

The secret is alignment: when you know for sure that you're on course and doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing, fulfilling your soul's intention, your heart's desire, or whatever you choose to call it (they're all the same thing). When your life is on course with its purpose, you are your most powerful. And you may stumble, but you will not fall.

I hope she's right. I've been feeling like I've been stumbling a lot lately and it's been getting me down. I have too much riding on this dissertation and the upcoming job market. I'm scared. I'm frustrated. I'm afraid that I'm going to let other people down. This feeling sucks...

In not so sucky news, our friends at CrossFit Unlimited posted this helpful resource. It's a recipe calculator that's supposed to give you nutritional information for your favorite recipes. I haven't used it, but it looks like a nifty little thing. (Yeah. That's right. I wrote nifty.) Also, I think this article is bullshit, but some of you might find it interesting. Apparently, your fingers can tell if you are at risk for osteoarthritis. Read the article. You'll see what I'm talkin' about!

Warm-up
Run 400 meters
Freddy's crazy stretching session. (This included having to be in various compromising positions with my butt in the air, deep squats, and the like. If you were there, you would have wished you had a camera!)

CrossFit One World WOD
Complete seven rounds for time of:
Run 200m
7 deadlifts 63#
7 hang power cleans 63#
7 overhead lifts 63#

Joanne's Final Time - 20:40

Notes (to myself) about this workout: The goal was to finish this in under twenty minutes. I went a little over, but I was glad I came close. I was hoping I'd finish in 23-25 minutes with the weight I chose. This WOD was tough, but I really like progression WODs like this. In fact, I think we should have done this one before last week's squat cleans. That way, people would have gotten a better understanding of that WOD.

Don't let this WOD fool you. After the second round, I was aching. For the first three rounds, I was able to do the weight sequence without dropping the weight. For the rest of the rounds, I had to drop at some point. Here are some strategies I employed... I always dropped at the 6th rep because I knew I had to pick up the weight again. Since I had to do the movement, there was no use in doing an additional rep. For example, I would do six hang power cleans and then drop the weight to the floor. I would then catch my breath and when I picked up the weight, to do the overhead lifts, I'd count picking up the weight (because I had to power clean it anyway) as the seventh rep. Make sense? This is how I planned resting with the weight.

Okay. I don't hate the WOD as much as I let on. This was actually great practice and I'm looking forward to pushing more weight next time.

A very big THANK YOU goes to Miss Alison for helping me settle on the weight.