Wednesday, January 03, 2007

another post about new year resolutions

I know it's that time of year again. And yes, I, along with the masses will post about my own set of new year's resolutions. Naturally, since I am posting on this particular blog, my resolutions revolve around health and fitness.

I'm trying to have a healthy outlook on health and fitness. On New Year's day, I did what most people do and I stepped on the scale. Let's just say that according to the numbers, I'm heavier than I have been in a very long time. However, I didn't need a scale to tell me that. I can feel it in my clothes, see it in photos, and sense it when I workout. Although I've been good at working out, when it comes to food, I kinda let myself go. The New Year's weigh in forced me to re-evaluate my health. (Granted, I understand how this entry totally counters my take on being athletically fat, but stay with me.)

The truth is, I'm sick. I have diabetes. Meaning, I'm prone to blindness, having my limbs amputated, and of course, dying before my time. This means that unlike most, I really have to be mindful of what I eat. Shaun's lola had her leg amputated because of her diabetes. The famous Gloria Anzaldua died because of diabetes complications. My nutritionist's mother became blind because of her diabetes. I can't have this happen to me - at least not as long as I can control it. My eating habits haven't been very good for the past two years. Maybe it's because I've been in diabetes denial and workout overload. Who knows? But what you run from metally, your body reminds you of it physically. I've been feeling it lately. An overdosage of carbohydrates wipes me out. It sucks out all the energy in my being and forces me to take a nap or make me feel sluggish or jittery. I can also feel the way my body distributes a carbo overload. The weight I've been gaining has all congregated to my belly, making it more and more difficult to workout. It's terrible.

This new found awareness of health and eating has less to do with vanity (I've been reading all the stuff on Big Fat Blog and I don't mean to counter what they're saying). For me, it is about a valid health issue. It's about wanting to live long enough to finish this Ph.D., get married, watch my nephews and nieces grow, get a job, be a certified adult, etc. It's about living a full life with friends, family and anyone else would is near and dear to me. It's about being able to do CrossFit, Fit-to-Fight, krav maga, and yoga until I'm 100 years old.

So for 2007 I'm declaring to feed my body right (literally). A bunch of folks at the studio are doing the Zone diet, which is actually a very good diet for me to follow. However, I feel like I'm trying to swim between something like the Zone and Intuitive Eating, which is based on this book I'm reading right now. To feed my body right, it needs to feel fulfilled and not deprived, which is why I'm not going full out on the Zone. Also, it's a little odd for me to even say that I'm on a "diet" because there's something about that word that doesn't sit well with me (maybe it's because it begins with "die"). The best thing for me to say is, I'm going to make healthier, more satisfying food choices which are appropriate for me (because too much decadence has its price).

I've got my fitness journal, have taken measurements, shot the infamous "before" photo and will be hard at work making sure my body, mind and soul stay strong. This year I'd like to walk the San Francisco Aids Half Marathon which is usually in July and the Nike Women's Half Marathon which is usually in October. I'd like to be able to do at least one full-on pull-up and maybe even half a muscle-up. I'm also considering taking Dolian's belly dancing class just for shits and giggles. Who knows. Also, I'd like my marathon training tan back. This pale thing just doesn't do it for me.

A stable body, a sound mind, and a happy soul. This is all I'm asking of myself for the new year and the new years to come.

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