karma of the universe

Dear Karma of the Universe,

I understand that not every gal gets to have her cake and eat it too. Life is about a give and take relationship. Though every gal deserves her every heart's desires, I'm fully aware that such desires do not happen all at once.

I am also fully aware that the energy you put into the universe is the same energy you receive. Hence if you are miserable to others, others will be miserable to you. This is why I try to enrich other people's lives with laughter and positivity. Even in my darkest hour, I will find the time to make someone else laugh because I do not believe in sharing my misery with others. It's not part of by belief system. I believe in looking at the bright side of things - that even when things are tough, that there is a reason for everything.

With respect to matters of the heart, you have made it very clear to me that you refuse to make this easy. Fairy tales tell me that I have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince. I get it Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe. I don't like it. But I get it. I have to earn the love that comes my way. Though you have decided to throw every road block in my way, I will no longer fight it. I accept that this is the path that you have so cruelly paved for me.

It has been brought to my attention that the reason why you have sent so many toads in my direction is because you want me to have a clear understanding of the kind of partner I do not want to have in my life. Oh Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe, I am writing to let you know that I have a very clear picture of what I do not want in a relationship and a life partner. This is why I urge you to please stop sending men who:

(1) are old enough to be eligible for medicare
(2) cannot remember EVER reading a book from beginning to end
(3) list Jersey Shore as their favorite TV show
(4) cannot tell the difference between a muffin and a cupcake
(5) do not have the sense to say "please," "thank you," or have the capacity to open doors
(6) are more interested in my ethnic background than my name
(7) are interested in me because I remind them of that exotic woman they met in Thailand, the Philippines, Vietnam, and any other exotic location they happen to have traveled to or have been stationed at
(8) do not possess the capacity to accept a woman who is more interested in developing her mind over her breast size

This list can go on. But since you are the all knowing and powerful Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe, I'm sure you understand what I mean.

Please, Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe, do not take this a letter of complaint. Think of it as a performance review in handling my love karma. You and I have had many conversations about what it is that I am looking for. I acknowledge that you have put in your very best and I thank you for the wonderful people you have blessed me with so far. (For the record, sans the major tragedy, the last one you sent wasn't bad.) Right now, I urge you to please stop sending me the toads. I'd rather you took a break from handling my love karma than sending me another useless person whose only function is to decrease my faith in the opposite sex. I hope you and I can come to some mutual understanding.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely Yours,
The Fierce Runner