unmasking.

This is what the "Filthy Fifty" feels like. I lifted this from the main CrossFit site a while back. Sometimes a simple photo says it all.

I also posted this pic because this is how I’ve been feeling in the other parts of my life. Truth be told, I tend to compartmentalize my life. It’s a rare occasion when its different parts intersect. For example, the likelihood of my One World family meeting my academic family is pretty slim. It’s largely due to the fact that I’m not sure how my academic family will react to my One World family. Academic folks, I love you all. But as academics, we can be misconstrued as a bunch of a$$holes who are obnoxious, argumentative, and overly-critical with no social skills. I love my One World family too much to do that to them. Ya hear me? (B--ch all you want, but it’s true. But still, I love my academic family. I just don’t want to deal with your overly judgmental, “I can’t believe you’re friends with those people” bulls--t.)

After a conversation today with a dear friend, I am reminded that the academic world focuses only on the intellectual, the cerebral. It’s not always concerned with the interpersonal, the emotional, or the reality of life. I am reminded of this when during our conversation, a different colleague declared, “A good cop is a dead cop.” This colleague’s ignorant comment is so indicative of what happens when so-called “revolutionary” academics have no real life experiences. Really?! Hating the establishment suddenly makes you cool? Speaking of establishment, what the hell do you call getting a Ph.D. from the premiere public university in the world?! Eat that! In my book, critical knowledge is a privilege. It should be thorough, understanding, and must be shared. A true scholar thinks with her head, listens to her heart, and is well aware that it’s okay to be wrong.

Unfortunately, the academy and I don’t always see eye to eye. This is why I’m the first to say that I’m a terrible scholar in the “traditional” sense. Decent CV aside, I operate with my heart first and academics are expected to function with their heads first and with no regard to the heart. Maybe this is why I don’t mix my worlds. Right now, I will say that what has kept me alive through the treachery of the academy are the four walls I get to enter when I go to One World. The box is where my body is challenged and my soul is nourished. These days, I need this more than ever. 

At the box my CV means nothing. I can come in last at every WOD and my friends will still cheer me on. The playing field is even and I don’t have to be a badass to matter in the box. It’s okay for me to be wrong. It’s okay for me to be slow. It’s okay for me to be weak. No one pokes fun when I need to suddenly leave for a date with pukie. When my fat is hanging from whatever I happen to be wearing that day, no one pays attention. When I forget my shoes and end up doing the WOD in my socks, they give me nothing but respect. I don’t have to lead. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to comb my hair or wear endless amounts of makeup. It’s okay for me to unmask at the box. My One World family asks only one thing: that I be nothing more and nothing less than who I authentically am. Hence, my deep love affair with the box. This is also why I will agonize over WOD after WOD after WOD. It’s because every time I do something, every time I finish, my base gets stronger. I become more grounded and without hesitation, my humble confidence is fed. This is what carries me through.

*end love letter*

Warm-up
Run 400 meters
Stretching

CrossFit One World WOD: The Filthy Fifty
Complete the following for time:
50 box jumps 12"
50 jumping pull-ups
50 kettlebell swings 25#
50 walking lunge steps
50 knees to elbows
50 push press 33#
50 hip extensions
50 wall balls 12#
50 burpees
100 jump rope rotations

Joanne's Final Time - 43:33

The twitter version of my "Filthy Fifty"

50 box jumps 12"
strategy: 20/15/15
thoughts: I hope to hell that I don't fall…. Thank god I opted to do the shorter box because then I really would fall!.. Why do my legs feel so freakin’ heavy?... Um, am I panty-ing out of the WOD for using the shorter box?… Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 jumping pull-ups
strategy: sets of 10
thoughts: I'm freakin' heavy!… I hate hand blisters…. I wish I was better at this s--t!… Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 kettlebell swings 25#
strategy: sets of 10
thoughts: I actually like this!… Jason, I *heart* you. Please shut up! I’m doing the rx’d weight. I have no desire to go heavier…. My butt is tight! My ass is up! What more do you want from me?!... Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 walking lunge steps
strategy: 2 sets of 25
thoughts: I'd feel a lot better if my knees were actually touching the ground. But they don't. So stop whining and keep pushing…. Enjoy the cool breeze!… I am so far behind everyone else…. Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 knees to elbows
strategy: sets of 5
thoughts: If there's anything I can't stand or can't do it's these f--kin' things! I can't hold on to the bar…. Is there any way I could get out of this?!… I'd like these a lot better if I was actually good at them…. Why do I feel like everything has suddenly slowed down and I’m moving in bullet time a la The Matrix?… Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?! (Note: I ended up switching from the silver bars to the black bars and finished them very poorly. My hands hurt like hell because no amount of chalk was going to improve my grip. I’m just a freakin’ heavy gal. Bleh!)

50 push press 33#
strategy: sets of 10? (I don't remember. It's all a blur at this point.)
thoughts: I swear I'm actually good at these… What's up with my headphone ma-le-function?! This would go by so much faster if my headphones didn’t keep slipping off…. Damn SWEAT!.. Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 hip extensions
strategy: sets of 10
thoughts: I hate these…. Make it stop!… They make me want to pee…. Thank God I got the good GHD machine. Huzzah!… I’m hanging here and I can’t get up!… Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 wall balls 12#
strategy: started with one set of 5, then did sets of 10, ended with a last set of 5
thoughts: OMG. I'm doing better at this than I thought. In all my other previous Filthy Fifty WODs, I've done this in sets of 5!… Okay, so the breaks in between are longer than the actual wall balls.... Jason says my squats are too deep. Um. I don’t know how to not do a full squat. I don’t have the time to figure that one out…. I’m still doing good, right?… Holy shit, I think I can actually finish in under an hour!… Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

50 burpees
strategy: sets of 5
thoughts: I could kill the person who invented burpees right NOW!… This is going so s-l-o-w…. I want to cry. I think I’m going to cry. I can feel the tears falling. Please. Make. It. Stop…. Fifty of these?! What the f—k was I thinking?!

100 jump rope rotations
strategy: 2 sets of 50 (or as close to it as possible)
thoughts: Yeah. I bounce. So what?! Thank God it's almost over!

Notes (to myself) about this workout: All my previous Filthy Fifty times are posted here. Though there are different variations of the WOD (e.g. last time I used a larger box and a 14# wall ball. Ahem. Jason, you said rx’d was 12#!), I was overall happy about the time.

I officially declare that I don’t want to meet the Filthy Fifty for a long, long time.