Mr. Schwing

Dear Mr. Schwing,

It's been a long time since I've had to write one of these letters. Sincerest apologies. My fitness goals have been misplaced and I've been focusing more on my own development in the gym, that I completely forgot that there is a plethora of people that I've been meaning to "observe" if you will.

In truth, I'm rather embarrassed that I'm even writing this letter because it proves that (1) I was looking and (2) I totally noticed it. Unfortunately, I can no longer allow my embarrassment to silence me. It is imperative that I say something, so here it goes...

Mr. Schwing, it's winter and it's cold. Really cold. In fact, this winter in the bay area is much colder than it has been in the past few years. Apparently, when men get cold, things start to "point." I'm not hating, I'm simply stating a natural, biological fact. It isn't your fault that when you get cold, you "point." In fact, "point" all you want. However, I would prefer that you did the "pointing" with your finger and not other parts of your body. Um, do you get what I'm saying, Mr. Schwing?

I understand that you must me a runner of sorts and are attached to running tights. I get it. But it's cold outside and again, you "point." To the point that not only I notice, but I'm sure others notice too. Mind you, I'm only pointing this out (no pun intended) for your own health and safety. Perhaps you may need to wear protective gear or even loose shorts to keep the "pointing" from being so noticeable. I don't know. You figure it out.

But please Mr. Schwing, be mindful of how cold it is and how much you "point" in the cold weather. I'd hate to be doing some random WOD and accidently let go of a 35# kettlebell and find that it landed on your "pointer" and caused unsustainable injuries. You hear what I'm saying, Mr. Schwing?

Thank you very much. See you at the gym. I hope it's warmer for your sake.

Sincerely,

The Fierce Runner