Saturday, September 04, 2010

karma of the universe part II

Dear Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe,

I greatly apologize for my recent faux pas, for even the most brilliant person on earth can stumble and do something stupid from time to time. Seeing that I'm not all that brilliant, I am prone to do something stupid many, MANY times.

It has been brought to my attention that you sent over the Handsome Stranger (HS) on purpose. Clearly, you read my earlier note and did everything in your power to send some phenomenal love karma my way. The HS was more than I could have ever bargained for: smart, charming, cute, getting his MBA at the rival school, in my age range, does not have rotten teeth, isn't homeless, has actual life goals, and loves to cook. Admittedly, I was completely caught off guard. I wasn't trying to hit on him. When I asked the HS, "Do you love your ipad?" I sincerely wanted to know if he actually loved his ipad or not! Sorry Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe. Even you have to admit that you've blinded me with so many toads that I have no idea what the prince is supposed to look like. Hence, why it didn't dawn on me that the HS was a gift from you sent directly to me.

With that, I sincerely apologize for my faux pas. Clearly, I have no game. I am mojo-less when it comes to matters of the heart. Obviously, the eye contact, the body language, the offer to play with his ipad, the silly questions about my re-usable coffee mug, and the many times he repeated how hard it is "being new in town" and "not knowing anyone" clearly went over my head. I have since taken proper notes to self. When the HS declares, "I hope to see you around soon," this is clearly my cue to surrender my phone number and any other information he may need (e-mail, relationship status, the color of my underwear...).

I beg you, Ma'am/Sir Karma of the Universe, please do not hold this faux pas against me. Feel free to send me more strangers just like this one. In fact, if you want, you can send me back that same exact one. I promise I will know what to do next time. Thank you for listening.

Sincerely yours,
The Fierce Runner


Luh Ayu said...

Awwwwwwwww... Here's sending more loving karma your way :)

Luh Ayu said...

awww.... sending more loving karma your way :) (That assumes I have some loving karma!!!!!!)

Gladys said...

damn! i wonder if he left a note on craiglist missed connections? HS sounds fab.

j-ro said...

Um, no. He didn't. You aren't the first person to coerce me into checking (at least that's what I'm going to tell myself to make me feel better).

After doing the math, I figured he might be about twenty-seven years old on his very best day. Hence, the hesitation on Friday... and yesterday when I saw him. AGAIN.

I know. I know. I. know.

Gladys said...

hey, don't be ageist! love comes in all age combos! and this is not the gross kind, okay? you are both at the turn of the 30s; that's great.

but WAIT. WAIT. this means you didn't give him your number AGAIN? wasn't he hoping to catch you again (and you, him)?

j-ro said...

Yes. This means I saw him AGAIN. And failed to share my contact info AGAIN. This is proof that in matters of the heart, I'm completely inept.