to Manang Cell Phone

Dear Manang Cell Phone,

I applaud your efforts in getting healthy by showing up to every single yoga class I happen to participate it. It is, after all, a public class that is open to anyone who is a paying member of Bally's. Seeing a woman of your generation actually puts a warm feeling inside my heart and inspires me. You make me think to myself, "Wow. When I'm 100 years old, I can still drive, go to yoga, own a cell phone, and exercise the pleasure of answering my cell phone at my leisure - even in the middle of yoga."

Besides, who cares about everyone else's concentration level? Who cares that everyone gives you dirty looks when your cell phone rings at full blast during every single class? Who cares that you let your phone ring 2-3-4 times before you answer it? Who cares that you carry a full-on conversation with whoever called in the middle of yoga class? Who cares that the lovely folks at Bally's have posted signs all over the room clearly stating to "Please keep cell phones and all other electronic devices OFF during class. Thank you."

Who cares? Definitely not you, Manang Cell Phone. At 100 years old, you've earned the right to bother everyone else in class with your obnoxious conversations. You've earned the right to disrespect the instructor and her way of teaching. You've earned the right to try to deny all 100 years of your existence by showing up to class with your hair and makeup all done up, sporting your extra-low rise spandex pants because you think that's what the kids are wearing these days, showing off your gold sparkly jewelry hanging from your body, and trotting in with your designer gym bag that happens to hold your extra-expensive cell phone. You've earned it, Manag Cell Phone. Anyone who has lived through both world wars has earned it:)

One day, when I'm 100 years old, I hope to be as clueless and obnoxious as you.

Yours Truly,
The Fierce Runner