international travel and diabetes: immunization shots

I'm in the process of leaving the country for three months for research. Normally, this would be really easy. However, when you're a diabetic, it's a little harder than I'd like it to be. First off, like many people, you have to get your immunization shots. It sounds simple enough. It's even less painful than most people would think. The problem is, not all health professionals are trained the same.

Truth be told, I don't have an actual record of all my immunizations. In fact, I didn't have an official record until I was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago and had to get certain ones done. Before then, I was working on pure memory, which tells me that I'm sure I got all the proper ones as a child, but I never had shots from maybe second grade and on.

So I knew that my visit to the travel clinic would be a big one because they'd probably have to shoot up everything imaginable. Fine. I get it. As long as it means I get to roam around the concrete jungle and return home in one piece, I'm okay. FYI, if you go to the travel clinic at the Tang Center, give yourself a good 2 hours because the consult is LONG! They go in detail about all the strange things you can get while you're overseas, especially a so-called third world country like the Philippines. I know they're trying to be clinical. However, some things just bordered on offensive. Anyway, all was fine until the nurse asked me if I had Hepatitis B.

Huh?

The conversation went a little something like this...

Fierce Runner (FR): I'm pretty sure I don't have Hepatitis B. If I did, wouldn't I know?
Crazy Nurse (CN): Well, that's the thing. Most people who have Hep B don't know. Have you been tested?
FR: No. But. Um... I'm pretty sure I haven't engaged in any activity that would cause me to have Hep B.
CN: Well, there is a chance that since you're from a Third World country, that you may have it. It may have been passed on to you by your mother, or you may have contacted it in other ways.
FR (irritated): I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood. I'm from GUAM, and Guam isn't a third world country. It's a US territory. I'm not sure what you're getting at.
CN: Yes, of course Guam is a US territory, but still. You may have been infected because it's common among people from third world countries.
FR (even more irritated): Again, Guam is NOT a THIRD WORLD COUNTRY! It's a US territory. I'm from this country.
CN: Yes, but your mom is from the Philippines and that's a third world country. She may have passed it on to you.
FR: But I'm the youngest of three kids. Don't you think she would have known that she had Hep B by the time she had me? I still don't understand why you would think I have Hep B.

By now, this conversation is beyond irritating because I want to poke the nurse's eye with the Hep B vaccine just to teach her a lesson. She leaves the room and has a long discussion with another nurse about what she needs to do about me. Again, she's under the impression that I secretly have Hep B. I'm also irate because this appointment is taking way too long and I have another appointment to catch all the way in Fremont! She comes back and says...

CN: Here's what we'll do. We'll give you your Hep A vaccination today and get you labs to test for Hep B. When those come in, we'll figure out the next step.
FR: But I'm pretty sure I DO NOT have Hep B!
CN: Sure. But we just want to make sure because you are from a third world country.

This is a lost cause. I'm angry, but I also have to go. So I tell her to just give me whatever shots I need, the labs and I go on my merry way. Five days later, CN calls me. Here's how the conversation goes...

CN: Hi FR. Good news! I'm calling to let you know that your test results are in and you don't have Hep B.
FR: I think I told you that last week.
CN: Sure. Well, this means we can get you your Hep B shot. Can you come in today?